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February 5


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BEST MOVIES OF 2013. Okay, now that I've been angry with the worst. It's time to get started with the best. The Butler? Oh man, I'm already starting to feel better now.

If you wanna see my worst list, here it is:…

10. The Butler:

How is it that this movie is not nominated for any oscars? With performances by Forest Whitaker and Oprah Winfrey not getting nominated as well. They both were great in this movie. I’m gonna admit it, at the end I was getting teary eyed. This and one other movie captured what it’s like for a black person to live in America when racism was at its height.  This movie is about a butler who served in the White house whilst his family was also enduring some of Americas darkest racism in the southern states. The “Whites only” and “colored” sings were everywhere, and talks of “the law wasn’t on our side, the law was against us.” And it did seem that way. In America. Our country that was supposed to be about freedom. What happened? My guess is that a country like the United States was way ahead of the world’s time, and the world was not ready for equalization. Anyways, The Butler, my number Ten.

9. This is the End:

Okay well, this is a weird time for me, because I usually don’t like these types of movies, but “This is the End” which doubles as the song from The Doors. Seriously check it out:

Anyways. This movie is well written, it knows what kind of movie it is, and that is dirty comedy filled with awesome apocalyptic moments, and it also has religious stuff in it. My number 9.

8. Blackfish:

And what is a best film of 2013 without some documentary. “Blackfish” tells the story about the orcas that are kept in captivity for the Shamu show. When we go see the show, we are wowed by the giant mammals as they put on a good show, but this documentary wakes us to the reality of how these Orcas live. It’s heartwarming, and it’s emotional as well. You know when you see those fins on the orcas, and they're bent downward, they're not supposed to be like that, that means they're depressed, but compare those to wild orca, they have straight fins compared to the ones in Seaworld, they're healthy. As for the movie? I’d say go check it out. It’s a great documentary.
PS: An orca is not a fish, it's a mammal, so why do they call it "black fish"?

7. The Lone Survivor:

Wow. This movie is great, "best war movie since Saving Private Ryan" well... I don't know but this movie does anything but glorify war, instead, it glorifies the soldiers. Kind of like "Saving Private Ryan" I really don't have that much to say about this movie, but I know it should be on this list, because man is it great. The actors are great and totally believable, the story is fantastic as well. My heart goes out to America's soldiers who face these type of conflicts. In fact, here is a song for them.

6. The World’s End:

Another apocalyptic comedy, this is a very smart comedy, original, and it’s funny as hell. Like “Fuzz Ball” and “Shaun of the Dead.” I cannot find anything else. See this movie its good.

5.  Captain Phillips:

A dramatization of the real life event that took place. The Maersk Alabama was the first American ship to be taken by pirates in 30 years or something like that. This movie dramatizes the event, and boy does it work. The acting is great, Tom Hanks is great as always, but to me the actors that really stood out were the pirates. I mean honestly, Barkhad Abdi, the guy who played the leader, he faced Tom Hanks face to face and said “look at me, I’m the captain now.” I mean, this is someone who’s never acted before saying this to a two time academy award winner. The drama is there too, this movie managed to be a thriller whilst still keeping the human in there. It even shows the Pirates as humans who were struggling as well. My number 5 best film of 2013.

Oh and by the way, write a comment down below if you noticed the “United 93” soundtrack “the end” in the climax of Captain Phillips.

(U93 is a totally underrated film by the way, go watch it, it’s also the same director and it’s great.)

4. Prisoners

Okay, my god what a great film. This film teaches a lesson as well. It dramatizes what it’s like to have your child mysteriously disappear, either she was kidnapped or she ran away. Two families each loose their daughter and this movie does such a good job at dramatizing that. The actors were FANTASTIC; the plot was great, and original. Well I’ll say original for now, if you guys can find a similar movie, then great. It captures the horror of what it’s like to lose a family member, particularly you youngest child, and that is something tons of people have been going through every year. A child is missing and they never find him or her, and if they find them they’re either dead, or found in a ditch completely burned (that actually happened here in Houston) And sometimes it’s a happy ending. Sometimes it’s a happy ending after like 18 years (if you know who I mean).

3. Gravity:

What do I got to say about Gravity? It’s probably this generation’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”. When 2001 wowed the entire country with its visual effects, Gravity did the same thing in 2013. I didn’t feel like it was done with Green Screen, I felt like it was actually in space. It was fucking amazing, and very realistic, it had tons of things right (despite having some scientific inaccuracies). Now there are some idiots who are trying to be smart by hating on this movie, but the reasons they give are so stupid. “It’s not realistic” or “it’s nothing new” or “it’s nothing groundbreaking” Yeah. WRONG, WRONG, AND WRONG. In reality, Gravity was a great film and seeing as how the world’s biggest directors are praising it, James Cameron Quentin Tarantino, and Steven Spielberg, yeah, we are right and you are wrong. I can go on and on saying how much this movie is great, and how much stuff it got wrong, but the inaccuracies really didn’t bother me, except for the part where George Clooney died. He didn’t have to die, in reality as soon as Sandra Bullock grabbed the rope hooked onto George Clooney, he should’ve stopped moving, but instead he kept on going. There’s no gravity in space, but he still kept on going. Yeah that didn’t make sense but that was the only problem I have. Granted this movie’s story wasn’t that long, but it’s still believable. What happened in Gravity would, and could happen in real life. Seriously, go search up the Kessler Syndrome, it’s very scary. Overall GREAT filmmaking, those people who appreciate stupidity over masterpieces can die and go to hell.

And the music is FANTASTIC. Just listen to this:

2. The Wolf of Wall Street

Oh my fucking god this movie is FUCKING AWESOME!!!! IT’S SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no fucking way “Frozen” has a 89% on rottentomaetoes, and “The Wolf of Wall Street” scored an even lower 77%. THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY!!!!! Okay I mean, granted it’s a Disney movie, but a whimsical Disney movie is better than the GREATEST DIRECTOR of all time MARTIN SCORSESE?!!? The guy who also made GOODFELLAS, TAXI DRIVER, RAGING BULL, and MEAN STREETS?!!!? FUCK NO!!!!
Okay anyways, enough bitching about it, what is so great about this movie? EVERYTHING!!!
This movie is hilarious all the way though, it’s so perfectly written as well, and so perfectly acted, I cannot find anything bad about this movie. If you like Martin Scorsese, and thought that he had lost his ways with “Hugo”? (even though, that’s sort of a good movie too) Than this is the movie for you. DO NOT take children to see this movie, this movie is R-rated, that really should’ve been X-rated or something like that. The sex scenes are so graphic, and you know what, I don’t fucking care, this movie is way too good for someone to bitch about the sex scenes. The whole story is so interesting, and this movie sends a good message too. And I love what they did to these guys, and this is what really happened, this is how they really lived back in those days. Drug addicts. And what I love about this movie is that it makes its characters likable. Okay sure a lot of movies do that, but this one has characters that are fucking scumbags, they’re degenerates, but fucking who cares? Who wouldn’t want to party with Jordan Belfort? FUCK YEAH I wanna party with this guy, get some fucking hookers, and shit.
Oh and people might be thinking “it sort of glorifies using drugs” Well… that sort of makes sense. Okay I’m gonna be honest, after watching this movie, I wanted to get high. I seriously did wanted to get high, but thankfully I didn’t.  But what I really love about this movie is the message it sends. Now I don’t know if this message is intentional or not, but I got that its good getting rich. You wanna get rich right? You wanna buy a nice house, great looking cars, and good looking suits or dresses, but money can really make you crazy. It can make you greedy, arrogant, and it can make you a drug addict. That’s what I love about this movie. It says that making money is good, but at the same time it can also get you in trouble if you don’t know how to use it. Hence Jordan Belfort’s “we were making more money than we knew what to do with.”
If you havn’t seen it yet, FUCKING GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW! No seriously I’m not joking, get off your computer and go fucking watch it, it’s SO FUCKING AMAZING!!!! Well, if you can’t handle the graphic sex scenes than its probably best not too. But if you can… FUCKING GO WATCH IT, RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT COMES OUT OF THEATERS!!!!! ITS THAT FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!
“The Wolf of Wall Street” is either the “Pulp Fiction” or “Goodfellas” of 2013 or of the Decade.
I cannot praise this movie enough ITS SO FUCKING AWESOME. I’m jamming out to “Insane in the Brain.”

And "Meth Lab Zoso Sticker"

1. 12 Years a Slave:

I’m not gonna lie, this movie was so brutal and I’m speechless. It captures the horror of what it’s like being a slave before the start of the bloodiest war in American Soil, the Civil War. It’s about a man who was kidnapped from the northern states and taken to the south to be a slave. And this was true, back in the day, when the northern states and southern states were separated by the laws; the blacks would live up in the north to be free. This went on for good time until the southerners were going to the north to kidnap blacks and bring them down to be slaves. Then it was no longer safe for any blacks. It was hell on earth being black back in these days, and this movie delivers that brutality almost perfectly. If not, perfectly. This movie is sometimes uncomfortable to watch, and to watch the things that actually took place in real life shown in this movie is pretty brutal. It’s not filled with blood drenched violence, but however even the parts where they’re talking to the slaves, you know, getting in their faces, yelling at them, or threatening them, it’s a little uncomfortable to watch. But the part where Patsy is getting whipped, that is the most uncomfortable part for me. Her back was shredded from the constant whipping of over 30 or so lashes. It was a lot.

Roll Jordan Roll

This is a great film, It's the  "Schindler's List" of 2013, and perhaps the decade, and it’s my number one best movie of 2013.

The Ten best films of 2013


Now for out Honorable mentions for the best movies (why they didn't make it on the list):


Though this is a good movie, (and Elsa's pretty hot) it's not great at all, the story is way to rushed and full of flaws that it just wasn't that good of an animated movie. Many people put this on their top ten best list and i said "really? this animated movie is on your top ten when I can think of an even better one that would be worthy for it?" Despicable me 2 being the one. And fucking Hans man... Worst Disney Villain EVER!!!
And that part where Anna was frozen. Elsa can create life with her powers, Olaf and Marshmellow being proof of that. So couldn't she have technically brought Anna back to life?

"Love" AH SERIOUSLY!!?? How exactly does Elsa really end the winter? “Love” isn’t really an explanation. Was there any point in which Elsa wasn’t feeling love for anyone? The whole reason she never spoke to her sister or interacted with her was to keep from hurting her. That’s also why she threw her out. Even when she told her to leave at the party it was so she wouldn’t have to live miserable and alone like her. Assuming she wasn’t feeling love before that…so…does she now? Does she just turn it on and off like that? What happens the next time she hates someone? Even if she has control, the problem still remains next time she accidentally hits someone in the chest with her power she kills them. (Kind of like the problem of keeping Fat Buu alive in “Dragonball Z”…)


Another one about the unequality between the whites and the black, this is an inspiring movie about following your dreams and letting go of anger no matter how much they put on you. But its "The Butler" that really got me.

Saving Mr. Banks:

Even though this movie is BULLSHIT on so many levels, and we learned that the Walt Disney Company is full of shit in order to glorify itself, this is a good movie, its heartwarming, its emotional, and its funny. But the historical inaccuracies were just..... gah. And don't give me those pathetic excuses like "its a family movie" or "its a disney movie" because that's no excuse. Still a good movie though, but not enough to make a top ten list.

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tulf42 Feb 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
what about MAN OF STEEL or some of the comic book films?
Most definitely not. Man of Steel wasn't good at all.

There were no good comic films, and plus comic book films don't even come close to these films in my list. They're vastly superior.
tulf42 Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

WTF? are you joking? Man of Steel was great, not to mention Thor 2 was good!
And what about the kids films? Despicable Me 2 was Hilarious. AND for us people in Britain, Wreck It Ralph should be on that list too!

Oh and not forgetting, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug!

COME ON, where are you "action" films in this list?

Wrong, Man of Steel wasn't great at all. Wanna know what a real Great movie is? Go watch "The Godfather"

Wanna know a movie that's a thousand times better than Man of Steel? Go Watch "Superman" The one with Marlon Brando, Christopher Reeve, and Gene Hackman.

Man of Steel was all BORING explosions and barely any story telling.

Man of Steel might be "great" for blood thirsty psychopaths who wants tones of people to die.
But for us die hard superman fans, It's a terrible movie. It's just action scene after action scene after action scene without having any good story to tell.

Despicable Me 2 was hilarious, it has a stronger story than Frozen, however these films that are funny, but they also have passion in it, animated movies tend to not have that. "This is the end" is all funny no matter what, it may not be passionate like 12 Years A Slave, but it has intelligent comedy, and so did  "the worlds end"

Wreck it Ralph came out LAST YEAR!!!!!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, though it's kind of good, does not have a good story, in fact it seemed rushed, the romance between the dwarf and the she-elf was completely forced, the CGI was terrible, the fight scenes were cartoonish, Though Smaug was completely BAD-ASS!!!!!! Overall it's an okay movie but not good enough to be on the top ten list.

"COME ON, where are you "action" films in this list?"
First: A Great action film has to come out to be on this list. So far, none of the action films are great. "Pacific Rim" Okay no, that movie is highly overrated, it has a stupid story, but I'm gonna admit, the settings on that base were pretty cool. "Star Trek: Into Darkness" Okay, that's an okay movie but that's it, its basically a remake of "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" a vastly superior movie not in special effects, but in story telling.

If you wanna seen some action films... go to my list of worst movies of 2013.
tulf42 Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, you stick with your stupid action movies.

I'll stick with great movies.
tulf42 Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you wish

That's right, when someone loses an argument they come up with something like "you wish."

seeing as how I watch The Godfather, Schindler's list, Citizen Kane, Die Hard, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Superman, and I also watch modern Oscar movies, like Inception, Lincoln, The King's Speech, 12 Years a Slave, The Dark Knight trilogy, and Gravity... all of which have terrific stories to tell,

and you watch movies that are all about boring action and no story telling, and wish they were on lists of ten best movies, which they're completely incapable of, it seems as though you're the one who wishes, and I'm the one who lives in reality. So in reality, you wish.

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